Stealing that from one of the only good radio stations left in the LA area, I will proceed with what
I can only deem as a totally fucked off, angst riddled rant. As of recently I have been feeling increasingly claustrophobic in my own skin. I can only attribute this to things that have been bothering me for the past few weeks. Attitudes in the world, my own country, my workplace, and in my own personal life have me at odds with what I had been beginning to want. For the past few years I have always seemed to be devoid of a quality of hatred I had once held towards things in and around my life that had been in direct contrast to my own life. The attitude I had replaced it with was that of an apathetic nature. As things stand right now, a few weeks ago, a good friend informed me that the hiring freeze within the LA County Sheriffs Department has now been lifted. For the past few days this has had me thinking of how much I had missed the opportunity of joining the force due to the freeze that has lasted for more than a year now. I had been somehow led astray with the promises of a decent living working as a plumber. I somehow fell into the trap of believing this around five months ago. I had somehow had forgotten my last outlook on what my loyalty now entailed towards "a job." My loyalty towards a company, I don't care what company it might be is earned. When I say earned, I would mean earned by someone being able to keep their word when it comes to a set plan. Also my loyalty is earned by a decent financial incentive. So far the company I am currently working for has failed miserably in both cases and I have had enough. I have looked upon the plumbing field for myself from the beginning as only a job. After hearing of the lift of the LASD freeze, the job has suddenly become a piss poor one. Granted full-fledged plumbers make a semi decent living, apprentices however, do not. Could I go apprentice for another company? Yes. Will I? Fuck no. I would be wasting my time and my talents. I can go work any job while going through the process of becoming a deputy which is what I am planning on doing within the next two weeks. So it seems I am a bit negative about my job, but you know my attitude towards it and whoever takes offense towards it. Joke em if they can't take a fuck. Also I am quite fucked off with people in this country bashing the current administration for "falling down on the job." To these people I say, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKS!!!!!!! If you could do a better job or had any qualifications whatsoever or had any type of plan of attack for fixing things that are currently wrong with the state of affairs in this country, or the world, you would be the man, "or woman." As it stands none of you have come up with a decent plan for fixing the domestic/foreign affairs that we are dealing with at this moment. So what do you do? You stand around and protest, bitch and moan, and fucking whine and think that the rest of us should listen to you and follow you in your path. I for one say fuck off. I am not one of those whining pussies in your group of self-deluded pack of sheep that for the past few months have seemed to have the collective intelligence of a mealworm. "I'm sorry, that's degrading a mealworm." I am also filled with a certain amount of anger towards the small group of people who think that certain people "get what they deserve." When I mention this I would be speaking of a certain handful of people I had heard speaking on a talk show on 97.1 last evening in regards to some of the people who were trying to rebuild Iraq, the children that were killed in Russia, and certain other foreign and domestic affairs that I am too tired and fed up with to go into at this particular second. For those of you who think that any innocent person "deserves what they get" just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, you fuckers hold a very special place in my heart that is reserved for a very select few. Anyone who holds this belief in my not so humble opinion at this moment in time should be monkey stomped within an inch of their life, only to be woken up again from a state of unconsciousness to go through the process of being stomped again. For certain people in my life
who think it is "cute" to try to match my attitude towards things, including the "people" I am currently speaking of. I find it irritating at the least and put these certain people on notice.
"You are treading of very thin ice fuckers." Those of you who truly know me, know that playing that
game at this moment is one of the stupidest things you could ever do. Thankfully, people who truly know me haven't ever done such a thing intentionally. It always seems to be the new people who want to me to include them into my life that end up doing it, and then don't get the point of how fucked off I get. Let me be perfectly clear to "these people." As you can tell from this post I have become very busy with work, getting back into school takes up even more of my time, changing my perspective on what is going on and contemplating the changes that will be taking place within the next few weeks takes up even more of my precious time. With all of this going on, I have very little time for myself, this time will be spent on and with a precious few. Continue on the absurd path you have tried to take with me recently, and be counted out of that group. "Some of you already have been if you hadn't already guessed." To wrap this up, I have grown tired of the labels that everyone seems to place on one another. I refuse to be labeled, categorized, or otherwise grouped into a specific spectrum of existence. I refuse to do it to myself since I as well as a handful of others know how complex the human existence is. For now I will lay out one label of what I my feelings encompass at this one moment in time. The label is anger. Fucking deal with it, or don't. Either way I could fucking care less. Or maybe I care too much. But I won't waste my time further on people or things that try to waste my time. To my friends and those that are close to my heart. I love all of you fucko's, and this current angst filled mood shall pass.
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